Beautiful Sunday Afternoon

Here I sit at my computer listening to Alan read the children Halloween stories we checked out from the Library Wednesday, I love to hear is silly voices he does, Calvy gets annoyed with all the voices and says repeatedly, "Daaaaaad".  I'm sad to say that I think that came from me, it used to annoy me too, "there are certain ways you need to read a story"  I would think.  Alan is a great Daddy and loves to make things fun for the children.  He took them on a great hike last Sunday while I stayed home and napped.  They were gone forever!  He came home and told me, "it takes a REALLY long time to walk a mile with kids."  haha!  That Sunday he actually came home with a picninc table that someone was throwing out, and a HUGE bar b que grill that someone else was throwing out.  We have been wanting a new grill for SO long, but hadn't been able to afford it, just one of those, "one of these days" wishes.  I am so thankful for being able to pay tithing and receiving the blessings for it.(we paid our tithing that day)

We have been working hard at being very positive and excited for the future, but also being very satisfied with what we have already been given.  We are struggling to teach this to our children, whose favorite phrase is "when Daddy makes more money can we get..." Which is my fault I had said many times, "we can't do that right now, but when Daddy starts to make more money we will."  So Alan is working on being very positive with his work and the way things are going and working to be more successful.  I am working at not being frustrated with my kidneys sill recovering and the UTI/Bladder Infection that is plaguing me, and to just be grateful for the fact that I am NOT double over in pain.  I am grateful to have energy to clean the house and rearrange furniture.  My very favorite thing to do, I have moved bedrooms around in preparation for this baby.  We are ready for whatever sex it may be.  We are VERY excited and all of us would love to have a girl.  Calvy said "I will love the baby if it is a girl, and I will like it if it is a boy."  I asked him why he wouldn't be as excited for a brother and he said "because then Ellie will have a sister and she will stop messing up our things."  Haha!

I do not feel the usual "I need to have this baby!" feelings, I don't feel incredibly uncomfortable, but I do feel extremely tired and I just noticed my face looking like a prego face, ew.  I was hoping to bypass that with this pregnancy.  Alan says that's pretty cool that the day before my due date I start to look pregnant, he's a sweet man.  He's awesome, I do love him.

Alan took the boys to Father's and Sons, Friday and Saturday.  It was so fun to think about little Caleb on his first campout trip, and how much fun it would be for him.  Calvy had a great time and watched out for his little brother the while time.  No one was hurt and they had a blast.  There was a HUGE rainstorm, like HUGE,  on Friday  night.  Alan said they were one of the few to stay dry and were able to stay all night, I was so grateful.  Every time I got up to go the the restroom during the night, which was a lot, I said a little prayer for them.  Eleanor and I had a girls night and went out to dinner, and bought gum at the dollar store and painted our nails and watched movies late into the night.  Ellie was disappointed when Daddy and the boys came home because that meant Daddy would take up his spot on his side of the bed, and she would have to sleep in her bed.

We had our Primary Program today and Calvin did his part all by himself.  He has always been SO shy that he would never even go up on the stand to sing or anything, this time he stayed up there the whole time, sang all the songs and said hid part all by himself.  We are SO proud of him, I wish we could have recorded it.

I am anxious for this baby to come and be apart of our family!  I can't wait to see what this labor will be like.  I know I can do it.

I hope you are all enjoying this Autumn season, I sure am.  I LOVE Halloween and I love pumpkins and I love baking and being warm under my covers with the cold wind coming in through the windows.  I love seeing the leaves change and seeing all the pumpkins and other decorations pop out on peoples porches.  We so love Halloween around here, we love the candy, the dressing up, the books and funs spooky, not horror, movies.  We love ordering pizza Halloween night and watching Hocus Pocus and counting our candy and trading.  Oh, aren't you so excited!?  I can't wait!

Have a great week and PRAY for me and my sweet baby, that we will be able to meet soon and be happy and healthy.

-Keara 

No Church for you!

Cutie Ellie in her church dress.

I'll keep this one small for ya.....wink

Well peoples, here I am....sitting again, this time on my bed with Alan's laptop on my lap.  I have been in bed for 2 days now, the previous day being spent in the bathtub, passing yet another kidney stone.  I will tell you that it is my least favorite experience.  During the pain of an attack I felt as if I would die, or that I wanted to die because then the pain would subside.  It is horrific pain, let me tell you, worse than natural childbirth, anyone who has experienced both will attest to that.

I woke up friday morning feeling normal, I sat up in bed and read from The Book of Mormon and talked to my children when they decided to come in.  When I got out of bed I had a strange back pain, but not a normal back pain, it felt deep and was radiating into my stomach, it didn't feel right.  As I picked Caleb up to hold him he felt warm so I took his temperature and it was 102.8.  I text Alan at work letting him know.  After we finished breakfast I felt a little worse, I sat on the toilet trying to figure out what pain I was feeling, if it was gas, labor, gall bladder attack, the flu....ANYTHING but a kidney stone.  Ever since I had one while I was pregnant with Caleb, I swore I would never get one again.  Apparently my body did not care.  Every time I would feel the slightest pain in my back I would freak out and down a gallon of water.  This time was different, it came very quickly, and I was alone, with 3 children relaying on me, one of whom was acting sicker and sicker by the minute.  Alan was working, taking care of patients, and when you run your own practice, or acting as such, you can't just walk out.  I didn't know what to do or where to turn, I rubbed essential oils all over my back and stomach, I drank some, I put some in my bath and soaked.  As the pain progressed I got very nervous that I would need to go to the hospital.  I called Alan's office and talked to the front desk letting them know my situation and if they could please just pass the word on to him.  It was only 9am and he had to work until at least noon.  I didn't know if I could handle the next 10 minutes, let alone 3 hours.  Paige, the woman on the phone, suggested I call Dr. M's wife, who is a guru in natural healing.  I called her and got her answering machine.  In my message I told her what I was feeling and what I suspected it was.  I didn't know what I expected her to do, but I needed a mother, and I told her that.  She called me right back and said she would put together a bag of remedies and would be there in 30 minutes.

By this time the pain had definitely progressed and my children were trying to figure out how to play a DVD on our massive 6 disc DVD player.  I was trying to explain to Calvy how to look for the number he had put it in.  I am not really sure how he figured it out, but he did.  So Dr. M's wife, lets call her Angela, came to the front door, Calvy led her back to me, my cute pregnant, naked body, lying in the tub so pathetic and in such pain I couldn't even open my eyes.  I had draped a towel over me to try and stay as modest as possible, but with the pain, modesty kinda goes out the window.  She was just the sweetest angel to show up, I couldn't believe how quickly she had gotten there, a half an hour seemed a lifetime away, but it went by very quickly.  She put together  a few drinks for me, that I was actually able to drink.  While pregnant with Caleb and dealing with the kidney stone I couldn't keep anything down for more than 30 seconds, if that.  It is very normal to vomit during kidney stones, many have to be admitted because in order to pass a stone you have to have liquids and a lot of them to help pass it through, but if you can't keep anything down then you need an IV.  I was pleasantly surprised that I was not feeling nauseous at all.  Angela stayed with me for what seemed like minutes, but must have been hours.  She had to go take care of a few things, and told me she would be right back.  Just at this time I was at the height of a HUGE attack.  I was moaning and crying and honestly didn't think I could do it.  she stayed a little while longer and when it seemed to lessen she left and quickly returned.  She brought the children a snack and put another movie on for them.  She stayed with me all morning taking care of me and my children, especially poor Caleb.  She kept making me drinks which would lessen the pain and help to shrink the stone, rubbed my naked back and talked to me, telling me how wonderful I was and what great parents Alan and I must be must be to have such wonderful children, "You can tell they are full of love".  She knew exactly what to say to take my mind off the pain and remind me that I wasn't alone, that my Heavenly Father was with me, and I knew she was right.  I prayed and prayed that He would take the pain away, but just like in other physically painful situations I knew He would not, because it was for my good.  I later received a blessing which confirmed this.   For some reason I must experience a LOT of physical pain for my spiritual growth...though I am truly grateful I do wish sometimes there was another way.

Alan finally arrived to relieve Angela and be with me.  He is my rock, he helps me accomplish the impossible.  When he is near encouraging me and pushing me along I know I can do any task at hand.  He was wonderful, and when an attack would come he would coach me just like during childbirth, he'd rubbed my back and talk to me and encourage me, helping to remind me of how strong I am and how string my body was.

I had been sitting in the bathtub for eight hours and my feet and hands were starting to swell and hurt from sitting in the water for so long.  Alan set up a newly purchased heating pad on my side on the bed so that when I got into bed it would be nice and warm for me.  We were hoping the warmth from the pad would soothe the pain in my back.  Turns out it didn't and I ended up right back in to the bath.  After about 12 hours of  dealing with the pain naturally I broke and could handle no more.  I begged for  morphine, I wanted the hospital I wanted to be done, I did not want to do it any more.  I started to vomit because of the pain, which is a bad sign because it would now take longer to pass if I could snot keep any liquids down.  I had some leftover painkillers from my surgery on my toe and decided I would give in and take them.  After eating and drinking VERY slowly I was able to keep it and the painkillers down.  Oh sweet relief.   I was able to sleep for a few seconds at a time, which made all the difference. In time I was able to chug liquids and get that stinkin thing moving.  At about 3am I felt relief and made it to my bed.  I felt incredibly different but my back pain was still there, the residual pain from the stone scraping through my uriters for almost 24hours.  I was able to drink throughout the night and get up and go to the bathroom.  I peed very freely which wasn't previously happening, it felt wonderful.

The next morning, Saturday, angela came back with another remedy she had researched, and a bag of goodies and food and a new movie for the children.  She was so incredibly sweet, just having her in our home made me feel like I could run a mile.  She is so lifting and incredibly gifted in the art of making people feel at ease.  Her spirit is very intoxicating.  I am so incredibly grateful for her presence, her insight and knowledge during this hard time.  I do not think I would have survived without her help.

Alan has been so amazing, taking on the roll of mommy and daddy and doing a great job too.  This is not was any of us expected this weekend.  We had planned a trip to the beach and movie night and dinner, not days of taking care of mommy and poor sick Caleb.  But everyone has been so understanding and wonderful.

I am still hurting, but no pain meds are needed, I am resting a lot and drinking lots of water.  Caleb is improving as well, night time seems to be the worst.  alan is hanging in there as well, he has had little sleep and lots of responsibility.  He's a wonderful man, I am so grateful I have a husband who is kind and understanding and will take on all that needs to, in order to make things easier.  He's a wonderful wonderful man, who is currently getting the children dressed in their sunday best to have Church with the children....our very very grumpy children.

Here's to tomorrow being MUCH better than the last few days.

~Keara