A Little Steam

(Sometimes I hate Blogger, I have no idea why this is underlined and why part of it is blue....it's after ten o'clock)

Am I the only one who ever feels completely overwhelmed with everything that "needs" to be done. I walk around my house tripping over the baskets of clean laundry that need to be folded and then put away, but will only be folded and then put right back into the baskets they had been living in for the past week probably not to see there actual home for another week, unless they are worn which will then sadly just start the process all over again. I hear my baby crying to get out of his seat, Eleanor sitting on the floor trying on all the clothes we got from Goodwill, Calvy in his bedroom being very quiet and Alan trying to figure out how their bedroom got so dirty...neither one of us will ever know the answer I think. I feel completely trapped in my own life, I try to clean the house during the day which never works because something always calls me away, a kid crying, phone ringing, a meeting, Caleb needs to eat for the 3rd time, Calvy's peed his pants for the fifth time or Ellie's fallen on her head for the tenth time. It always ends the same, a kid crying me frustrated and dirty dishes. I would love to clean at night while they are asleep but all I want to do when they are finally asleep is sleep myself.

As if my life/job as a mother wasn't enough I have to deal with my neighbors' dogs' hair being all over our laundry, bats being and pooping in the house and basement, sickness filtering in and did I mention those four baskets of laundry?

I have moments like this, and then I have moments where Calvy says something like this

C: "I wish we had a controller to move the clouds from the sun, I like it when it's sunny.", and moments where Ellie walks in with a pair of mismatched shoes on and pants on her head saying "pitty" or Caleb who takes a break from breastfeeding to give me a big goofy smile and sometimes even a laugh and my sweet husband saying the words, "what do you want to do tonight?". It is these times that I realize that it doesn't matter, the bats, peed pants, dirty dishes and yes even the four baskets of laundry, it's my family that matters, being with them nurturing them and enjoying the time I get to spend with them. I am grateful to a Heavenly Father who sends me these "Tender Mercies" to remind me that He is here with me, loving me, wanting me to be happy, knowing that those four baskets of laundry are teaching me something I will need to know in the next life...patience maybe, I don't know, but I do know there is a purpose for it. One of my blessings has told me to find the joy in all things, especially the hard things.

Thank you for letting me release some steam, I feel better. Now because I couldn't possible pay all of you for our little therapy session here, I will post some pictures as payment.

Us on the Nina and Pinta replicas. They were super cool, I was terrified of Ellie falling off into the water the whole time, and Calvy kept asking where all the Pirates and Captain were.

As much as I do NOT enjoy the water, I can see why people take up sailing, it is pretty relaxing just sitting there feeling the waves rock the boat and feeling that cool breeze.

The Darndest Things

A few things that have been said around our house this morning.

Calvy: "Can I just watch this last episote?"

Alan: "Your eye smells funny."

Calvy: "Hello!"

Ellie: "Hello!"

Calvy: "Can you say hello to me?"

Ellie: "Hello to me"

Calvy while eating lunch:

"Is the bread a sacrifice for blood?"

It took me a second to realize he was talking about the sacrament. The things they remember is amazing.

I love being a mommy....even if I am the one ever...I think I am an internet binger. I need to fast.

26 is going to be EPIC.

Well, I'm that much closer to 30, which doesn't really bother me, but for my lil sis and my dad it's seems a bit old.

Dad: "So how old are you, 25?

Me: "No, 26."

Dad: "Whoa, really? Wow."

Mattie: "Oh my gosh, you're almost 30."

I think Mattie doesn't like the idea of me getting older because she knows that once I turn 30 she only has 16 mos before she is 30 too. ;0)

I had the best Birthday EVER! I woke up to a "Happy Birthday Kiss" from my hubby, and on his way out the door he said there is a present waiting for me, somewhere in the house. I found it later on our headboard. I wish I would have gotten a picture of it, he always has the best presentation. It was the movie "Emma", if you know me at all you know that I am quite obsessed with period films and that lifestyle, I love anything old, maybe that's why 30 doesn't scare me. Sorry all you 30's out there, I just called you old. ;0)

So anyway, that was the perfect gift, and to make it more perfect he wrote me the most beautiful letter, to keep it special I will not share the whole letter, but I will share a bit.

"Keara, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! You are my best friend & I am so blessed to be with you. I love going to bed every night with you & waking up next to you every morning. I love your smile , your love of life & the way you try to enjoy everything around you....I am sure Heavenly Father swelled with love & excitement as you arrived here, because He knew the great things you are capable of & special things you would do."

Ok, who would not feel like a million bucks after a letter like that?! I mean really, I feel like I can take on the world, I am so blessed to have him. Later in the letter he challenges me to pray for inspiration to be able to use one of my "great abilities" to do one of those "special things" today. I love Alan so much, he always challenges me to be better, to never feel to comfortable, although his arms are pretty comfortable at night.

Calvy was so excited that it was my Birthday he wanted to be apart of it so bad, he said I needed a Birthday cake with pony's on it. He was a little sad when he found out that he wasn't going to dinner with us, but when he heard he was getting a babysitter like Calliou(or however you spell it) and that made it all better.

I got to go to lunch with my girlie friends and it was so fun, I love being out solo! We went to a super yummy burritos place and my awesome friends bought my lunch and gave me gifts. Just being with them was gift enough, I love them so much! I wish ALL my girlfriends could have come.Alan and I went to dinner to my favorite place, Granite City, and I got my usual and I ate the whole plate and then we decided in honor of my birthday we would get dessert, a delicious apple crisp crumble, Oh baby so good, and I would never admit this to anyone else but my most trusted readers, I then came home and ate 2 pieces of leftover babysitter pizza. :0) Don't judge me...my diet starts tomorrow.

We ended the night with Emma, it was a beautiful thing, I can see that 26 is going to be great.

No pony cake, so we opted for cheaper and smaller brightly colored cupcakes, which turned Calvy's teeth green.

"Oh do I have green sugar on my teeth?"-Calvy

I'm pretty glad that my face is a little out of focus, on account it's so shiny.

Our little Ellie Belle, she's so couture. Thanks Jourdan!

This is his typical face lately. He's a crazy boy.

Weird pic, but this is what Caleb did. :)

Awe, look at that handsome face. I love his freckles!

*photos courtesy of Alan Barnes

Grandma Barnes

Well, I have been kicked out of my room, Alan is doing something sneaky for my birthday, so I decided I would blog about my sweet MIL who came to visit a LONG time ago now, and I've been wanting to blog about her stay for a long time now.

Alan and I both say she got the brunt of the deal with a new baby. She came about a week before Caleb got here. We didn't do much because I was SO pregnant and tired. We feel really bad thought because her Birthday is the 3rd of July and i was having a lot of contractions that day so we didn't do much, we went out to dinner and had to leave pretty soon after we ate because I was having to many contractions and I just wanted to get my tight pants off and relax on my couch.

She waited on us hand and foot, washed and folded and put laundry away very day, cooked us every meal and dealt with our crying kids. When Caleb finally came she stayed with our children at home so Alan could be with me in the hospital, so she had our kids for 1 day and 2 nights all by herself. I felt so bad, the poor woman was completely exhausted by the time it was time for her to go. I'm sure she needed a whole new vacation once she got home. She was SO amazing, there is no way I could have done it without her.

I love you so much Momma Barnes, I hope you enjoyed yourself, we really enjoyed having you here and can't wait for your next visit....October right???

So here are some pictures of her stay, I didn't get very many....sorry.

Birthday Cake with Gma, Ellie "loved" the chocolate frosted mustache Daddy gave her.
Ellie loves to touch you with her dirty hands while eating.
Can you tell he enjoyed it?
After our firecracker fiasco on the 4th Ellie was not too thrilled about there being fire near her.

Smiles now, but there were some definite tears after Ellie wouldn't let go of a burning firecracker. We let Calvy have a turn lighting and throwing a firecracker so we decided it would only be fare to let Ellie do the same. Only when it comes to fight or flight she decides to fight...when she got scared of the firecracker she just held on tighter and tighter, Alan couldn't get it out of her hand....I guess you can call it fight. I wish I had pictures, but as you know I was preoccupied with my daughter about to burn her hand off.
Cookin away in our hot kitchen. She was so amazing, she has lost SO much weight and tries so hard to eat well, and we tried to help her, but we didn't do very well. ;0)


Cuddle up. We love you Grandma Barnes!!!!

Today

Well I am a bit of a bum, I didn't wash my face or get dressed till about 6pm today. When Alan came home from school after 4pm the kids and I were still in our jammies and I was surfing the internet for Mindy Gledhill(<---I love her) songs on Youtube.

We all got dressed and went to Chick fil A for din din. As we were pulling into the parking lot I thought of how funny it woulf be if we ran into my friend Tori, and who do you think walked in as we were finishing up. It was fun we chatted and talked till after 9pm. She was nice enough to watch my kids so I could just drop Alan off at a meeting and come right back to hang out some more.

It was a great night, and wonderful Birthday Eve.

We are all back at home now, kids tucked nicely in their beds, Nixon walking in circles on the couch trying to find a cumfy spot, Alan doing something sneaky with wrapping paper in our bedroom and I am blogging away, but very much looking forward to spooning with Alan with the buzz of our window unit in the background lulling us into a sweet air-conditioned sleep.

Sweet dreams everyone.

Not even going to try.

I have not blogged in SO long and the more I put it off the more I have to catch up, and the more catching up I have the more I don't want to blog, so instead of feeling the pressure to catch up I am just going to show a few pictures and then start anew. So here ya go in no

particular order...

Caleb, our baby boy. He's growing so fast and yet not quite fast enough. I have battled or should I say, have gone to war with mastitis 3 times now and have won, although I am still battling with clogged ducts. Not sure why this baby has been such a challenge for my body but I have faith and hope that it will only get better.

Nursing is such a privilege to me, I love looking down at his sweet face as he take it long deep gulps of my breast milk, having the feeling that I am part of the reason why he is still alive, that I am sustaining his sweet perfect little body. I just can not give that up, so I will endure and hope for better days.

Tried to delete this pic because it is out of focus, but can't seem to figure it out on my new computer. Even out of focus he is sweet.

Now just look at that face. Our Little Ellie Belle, we just love her and her silliness and her crazy feather hair.

While getting the children ready to leave for the "chicken store"(Chick fila), Alan bumped Calvy with Caleb's foot and poked his eye. When we got home this is what it looked like. Poor guy, that must have been some bump. I told Alan it almost looked like it was a black eye and Calvin made sure to tell me that his eyes are not black but green.

Crazy boy, what more can be said.

I love this picture because it almost looks like she is trying the shield her face, as if I am paparazzi trying to encroach on her private reading time.

This is my daughter. My mommy bought this for her, it is about 5 sizes too big, but a little elastic hairband fixed it right up. Oh and don't forget the rain boots on the wrong feet.

I can never get enough pictures of my babies sleeping. They are so peaceful, there is something about sleep that just feels so good, I always want to join them.

My sweet sis bought this outfit for Caleb. He looks so preppy, yes I said preppy something I don't think I have said since J.H.S., but this is not in a derogatory way, I think he's so stinkin cute. Thank you Mattie!

Playing Jarts with my mommy. They only got to play once and my mom TOTALLY annihilated Alan, so we are waiting for my mom and dad to come back for a re-match.

So I hope that I have redeemed myself and you will all start to visit my blog again and leave me sweet comments because I love to hear from all who stop by.

Love to you all.